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Moved

Don't come 'round here no more!! I've moved the blog to a better site...

www.horvathhappenings.wordpress.com

Happy 39 Months Gabey!

Cute picture, huh? It's amazing what a handful of candy will do for a 3 year old's cooperation level.

September is a month of endings and beginnings, the most notable being the end of summer and the beginning of school. You started your 2nd year at Miss Debbie's Little Thinkers school in White Haven...and as expected, you love it. School is still just one day a week, but since you are now in the preschool program it lasts 2.5 hours and is a bit more structured. You work on letters and numbers and in just 2 weeks of school you have learned to trace and to cut with scissors. Each week has a theme based on the letter you are learned to write, complete with a related snack, craft, and story. You also get to pick out a "library" book to take home, and you enjoy this very much.

First Day of School 2010!

I had a proud mommy moment when I picked you up last week and Miss Debbie was full of nothing but compliments about you...how well you picked up letter tracing in just one week, how well-behaved you were, and particularly how affectionate you were. I'm truly thankful that we came across Miss Debbie, she has been a wonderful role model and I have to say I'm amazed that not only are you enjoying school and reaping the social benefits, but actually learning too! Its going to kill me to move you next year, but it only makes sense to attend the "pre-k" year of preschool at one that is geographically closer to the elementary school you will attend. I've already started researching, even though the though of your little self going into a new school with new teachers and kids breaks my heart. But, until then, these are your classmates:

Ben (currently in an "I hate the camera stage), you, Theresa, and Annalie. Only Maddie was missing.

Aside from what you are picking up in school, I've noticed some changes in your smarts in other areas. One example would be your understanding (or at least verbal use of) abstract phrases. Words like "any", "forever", "all day", "yesterday", "never" "now" and "later" are a regular part of your vocabulary. There is nothing cuter than me instructing you to eat breakfast and you telling me forlornly that "Mom I never, ever want to eat breakfast today." Or talking about something that already happened and you stopping to confirm whether it was "yesterday" or "this morning". I need to get a calander soon and start showing you what the days of the week are.

Monster Jam

Your love affair with monster trucks continues. I snapped this picture a few weeks ago to document what is a daily scene in our house...you, with your little trucks and matchbox cars all set up on the coffee table. I would say you spend a good portion of your playtime playing "Monster truck jam" on the table. I have no clue why we even continue to buy and allow other people to buy you toys...with the exception of books nothing else holds your interest for very long. You also have medium, large, and remote control monster trucks...but none of these are the same as your little ones. I have no idea how many you have (20?) but you know all their names and you know the ones that you DON'T own yet as well. I love watching you play these both because your creativity in sounding like the announcer of Monster Truck Jam and the fact that it keeps you busy for hours (yes hours, not exaggerating.)

You also have a routine most weekdays with Daddy that you go down in the basement and watch Monster Truck Jam (often the same dvr'd episode again and again) while Daddy works out. Usually if I go into the basement I'll find an assortment of couch pillows lined up meticulously on the floor--you pretend to be a monster truck jumping over obstacles as you watch. Monster trucks in the "spacement" with Daddy is without a doubt the highlight of your day.

In other ways I see you growing and maturing all the time. There's lots of little basic things that you can't do for yourself that you "should" be able to do...such as dressing, undressing, getting into a chair, and going to the bathroom unassisted. I've read a lot about how first children/only children often do these things later because their parents assist them much longer than they do subsequent children. You also have a personality that is such that you will half-heartedly try something and then immediately give up, crying "I can't DO it! Help me! Help me Mommy!" in a voice so pathetic one would think I threw you outside in the snow naked and instructed you to pick the lock to get back in. Nonetheless, you are slowly fostering new ways to learn to do things for yourself...

You can't redress yourself, and you don't always hit the bowl, but watching your hilarious "dismount" (think: gymnast on a vault) makes the extra time to let you do this yourself worth it.

Yeah, we're still working on the getting dressed thing.

And so, time marches on. The next time I write to you, Halloween will be a thing of the past and it will be NOVEMBER (how?? Already??) The holidays will be just around the corner, and the dreadful post-holiday winter months will be looming. But until then, I'll definitely enjoy sharing the aspects of fall with you...hayrides, Halloween, playing in the leaves, fall foods and the return of warm sweaters and winter jammies.

Happy Fall, Buddy. Thanks for making every season, every month, every holiday and every experience that much more memorable for us:)

Fall...Frolic, Fairs, and Otherwise

Fall is officially here. Cold evenings and crisp mornings are becoming the norm rather than a surprise, and although many days have reached the 70's, we are definitely edging towards the colder part of the year. The sun is weaker, the days are shorter, plants are dying and summer tans are fading.

But fall is an awesome time of year for us. First and formost, we look forward to our annual "Fall Frolic" party each year. Every year it has a different feel, but some things are constant: certain guests, a large pot of chili from the Lookout House, and bad weather. Well, bad weather until this year! The past 3 years have been raining, with one year being so terrible that some people cancelled because they didn't want to drive in the rain.

This year though? It was worth the wait to have a PERFECT fall day. Blue skies, no wind or clouds, and the highest temp was 65...perfect for sitting outside in the afternoon, and also perfect fire weather as the sun went down. We got to test out our newly built-by-Gabe brick firepit, and it does the job. Marshmellows were roasted, an insane amount of food and of course drink was consumed, no injuries occurred and the company was great! Thanks to everyone who made it out...though, despite making a conscious effort to remind myself to take a lot of pictures this year, I put the camera down early in the afternoon and forgot about it. I did want to share this one though because I spend a lot of time with these two girls, and this is probably the first picture ever of the 3 of us:

Me, Jen, and Josie. You could say they're part of my Mommy Posse...

In other fall related news, today we took G3 to a local pumpkin patch/corn maze place called Maylath Farms: in addition they have mums, a farmers market, baby animals, games where you can shoot apples and corn (for the testosterone-charged crowd), pony rides, haybale mountains, hay rides, and a little kiddie train ride. This is the third time we have gone and as with my usual visions of fall-themed activities, it didn't quite live up to my expectations. The first year G3 was a baby and we did the corn maze with Kellie and Shawn (way less fun when it sounds, especially in the hot sun when you're all wearing fall sweaters for photo-op reasons). The next year he was 15 months, and although he enjoyed the pony rides, he wasn't very impressed nor was he cooperative for picture taking. This year, he was in rare form: a combination of tired from Fall Frolic, 3 year old-ness, and the argumentative side of his personality. Several meltdowns were narrowly avoided, and we skipped both the train and hay ride. (Which, for the record, I felt terrible about because he really wanted to do both of them, but just wasn't worth the risk of meltdown...which occurred (thankfully) at home in full-force just moments after we pulled down the driveway.)

I may take him back as a reward for good behavior at a later date to ride the train and hay wagon, but in between he did enjoy himself a bit and I got a few shots...

Making friends with a goat...

Slingshotting apples at wooden fall-themed targets: every boy's dream.

Love when I actually get a decent picture of Mommy and G3

It should also be noted that we attended the Bloomsburg Fair not once but twice this year. First we went with our friends Jon, Aubrey and their little girl Bella. This was a chaotic and crazy day as it was the first day of the fair and, well, we had 2 3-year olds in tow. Much junkfood was consumed, the kids rode a lot of frightening rides that they are apparently tall enough for at 36 inches, G3 had a meltdown in the moonbounce, and was asleep in the car before we even hit the highway (5 hours of fair will do that to you!) The second time was just us and we went at night (which is when I prefer to go to the Bloomsburg Fair, just something different about bundling up, the lights against the sky, and it reminds me of going when I was a kid (and a college student, complete with my flask tucked in my hippie bag:)

The rest of our October is going to be very busy, particularly on the weekends. I have four photo shoots coming up, Gabe's birthday is in a few days, Halloween festivities, a trip to Dunwoody and a wedding (that Im both photographing and attending...eek!!)

I'll leave you with a cute picture of G3 and his new buddy Bella...these two kids could not be more different, but they got along splendidly.

A Whiny, Self-Centered Rant About My Life In General This Week

I'm having a rough week. A week when I feel like THIS:

A week when, no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be enough for anyone, whether that person is 3, 33, or 63.

A week when things that should be ridiculously simple become difficult battlegrounds.

The kind of week where someone offers you something, but then rescinds their offer unless you do something else that they want. Sort of like a personal version of bait n switch.

The kind of week where you find out someone you used to work with doesn't like you, at all. And you shouldn't really care because you haven't seen said person in years, probably won't EVER see said person, and if truth be told you didn't really like said person much yourself. But it still makes you feel like crap.

A week of worrying about things I can't control.

A week of worrying about things I should be able to control, but can't.

Feeling disapointed when my opinions, needs, wants and desires are not really valued.

Feeling irritated when asked to do the impossible. Take a close up photograph that includes 3 miles of landscape behind it? Sure no problem. Remove chainsaw grease from pants? Let me get the magic wand.

And for a bonus on top of all these serious and not so serious irritations and complaints, it looks like our annual Fall Frolic party is going to be rained out AGAIN. This is the point where I put in a bunch of expletives. Seriously. I know I can't control weather, and I don't care. I am so sick of spending parts of almost every day working on our property and yet never getting to share it on the ONE day of the year that we have a big party.

And because this is a selfish whiny rant, I'm going to include a few things that I would really like right now. Sort of like a wishlist, of the selfish, whiny rant variety.

I would like a new mattress. I don't want to shop for it, I don't want to finangle for it, and I don't want to have endless conversations with my husband about how we don't need one (we do) or how much its going to cost. I just want better sleep.

I would like the sun to be out on October 2nd. Doesn't even have to be warm. In fact, if its cold we can use the new fire pit that Gabe spent hours building, with Fall Frolic as its first use in mind.

I would like be able to pursue my career without roadblocks.

I would like to know the end result of things so I can stop worrying and laying awake at night pondering the what-ifs of life. This combined with a new mattress should be able to cure my sleeping problems.

I would really like some recognition for everything that I do on a daily basis. Yes, it 10am and Im blogging in my pajamas, and yes, this is one of the main perks of being a stay at home mom. But before the day is over I will also have washed, dried, folded and put away 3 loads of laundry, vaccumed and mopped the floors, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, paid some bills and balanced the checkbook, run to the bank, cut down a few dead perrenials, do a basic clean-up so we aren't tripping over monster trucks and washing our hands over dirty dishes, start a grocery list, make a trip to Nathan's to price out mattresses, take a child to the potty no less than 4 times, feed, clothe, and bathe said child, work on editing photographs from a photo shoot yesterday, begin preparing for a photo shoot on Sunday, and wash and change all sheets on all beds.

And this is just what's on my list.

Happy 38 Months Gabey!!

See that picture at the top of my blog?? I'm keeping it up there for a LONG time. When its frosty in the morning, or the first night we need to turn the heat on, or I dig out the puffy coats, I want to see that picture and simultaneously mourn summer and anticipate the next one. Isn't it funny how in July, looking at pictures of sledding and snow seems so foreign? I guarantee that looking at pictures of bathing suits and swimming and lush green backgrounds will seem weird come next February...

And with the start of "fall" and September also comes your 38th month. It was a pretty quiet month for you, all things considered! Other than a trip to the beach with Grammy, Grandad, and CeeCee, we chilled out at home a bit more. Playdates were attended, pools were swum in, dirt was dug and we're still working on grasping the last of the summer-like weather before fall comes...

Rock Glen Pool with Teddy and Stanley (currently tied for the honor the Most Ridiculous Amount of Cuteness)

We definitely did a lot of swimming this summer, but especially in the last month. We swam at Jen's house, the Rock Glen Pool, and the Country Club pool (courtesy of friends who are members). I have to say, though I have no interest in joining the country club, I loved taking you to the pool there. We mostly went with my friend Josie and her little baby, sometimes on weekends with Daddy in tow, and sometimes during the week when it tends to be less packed. Our "final hurrah" was last Tuesday, and there was literally NO ONE there since school had started up again. After an entire summer of refusing to wear floaties and not understanding that if you DID wear them we could let you go, you figured it out. It was awesome. Suddenly you were like a little fish and were even braving jumping in without being caught. Makes the anticipation of next summer that much stronger!

"I swimming!"

On the behavior front, we are doing okay. We have had a few tenative playdates that have more or less gone okay. I think with the start of school next week, and with someone besides me reprimanding you, the remnants of the hitting problem will be curbed (fingers crossed!!!) You have definitely been very sassy lately...you like to respond to things I tell you to do by saying "YOU clean it up Mommy!" or "No YOU go in time-out Mommy!!" But I really can't complain this month and I think that being less "on the go" has benefitted you.

Taking time to smell the roses, errr, dig in the dirt.

Other changes this month are small but all add up to you becoming more grown up. You're getting better at getting undressed and dressed by yourself. You always put your shoes and hat in the shoe basket when we get home. You don't like Mickey in the living room when you're playing sometimes, and you've learned how to coax him out and shut the doors. Sometimes when you are upstairs playing in your room, and I want to go downstairs, you tell me you want to stay there and I let you (we have a monitor, so I can hear you, but it feels weird to say "Oh G3's upstairs playing in his room.") You can carry your plate or cup to the counter and sometimes do so without being prompted. You love to "help" us do certain things, especially Daddy outside. He recently built a ramp (bridge?? its hard to say...) for outside the fence, and you were right in the mix, measuring and helping. Pretty damn cute. Most people in your life have noticed your penchant for mechanical, meticulous, hands-on stuff. I'm not sure I forsee you being an artist, or an athlete (um...we won't talk about your inability to put your hands up, let alone catch a ball. And experiences at the pool with the tetherball were less than successful). But I do see you being an engineer. Or a neurosurgeon. And when that happens I'll be like, "Yes, even at age 3 he was cutting his playdough with such precision!"

Taking it all very seriously!

And so that's the month in a nutshell. We did some other cool stuff like attending a family reunion of Kramers (my mom's side), traveling to Harrisburg to go the Science Center (lots of fun) and hanging out with friends. Soaking up the last of the days of sunlight past dinnertime, fresh produce, mornings outside in the sweltering sun, shorts and barefeet, leaves on the trees, swimming, road trips, and so much more. I could cry just thinking about it all ending. But I AM excited for fall with you...raking leaves (you are SO getting put to work this year), Halloween, pumpkins, festivals, Fall Frolic...all that good stuff. Until next time...one last photo that screams "summer summer summer"....

Peeling corn with Grandad (ignore Grandad's lime-green and maroon ensemble...)

Staycation...

Day One

11a.m. Take G3 to Grammy and Grandad's. Very excited for beach. Mom runs around in usual scatterbrained manner while Dad and G3 take turns yelling excitedly "The beach!"

12pm Departure. Ask G3 repeatedly if he's going to miss Mommy, answered with "No, I miss Daddy," and "You go home now Mom? I go to the beach!"

12-2pm. Shop at the Susquehanna Valley Mall with nothing in particular in mind to purchase. Plus side: can browse bookstore uninterupted and I don't have to share my Auntie Anne pretzel. Downside: spend most of my time browsing children's clearance racks. Only purchase is 5 pairs of Gymboree underwear for the little guy. Who I won't be seeing for 4 days.

2-3pm: Drive home. Revel in the novelty of being able to listen to my favorite songs ON REPEAT as many times as I want without screams of protest and peanut gallery comments like, "That's enough, Mom! MOMMY! I want my music!

4pm: In one fell swoop all plans for the evening are cancelled. Zumba class...cancelled! Girl's night with Jen...cancelled!! Chance of swimming...0% due to hurricane happening outside! Eff!

7pm: Husband graciously allows me to tag along on his "night out". Stop by Dave and Jill's, then on to The Lookout for dinner. By now its 8pm and I haven't eaten since my Auntie Anne's pretzel...so guzzling 3 glasses of wine seems like an excellent idea. After all, Im on "vacation"!

10pm: Home. Passed out in chair. Miss "Jersey Shore" :(

12am: Husband escorts me to bed.

DAY 2

8am: Wake up. Massive headache. Ask Gabe what the hell happened to me. He laughs and points fingers at me. Hmpfh. Apparently training for a drinking marathon by having wine nightly was a complete fail.

8:30-9:30am: Coffee and computer time WITHOUT Dora in the background. Ahhh.... Plan out the day: haircut, pedicure, and some shopping. Plan to meet G2 for an errand, and ask worriedly how long it will take. Then remember: not planning around child. Nice.

9:30am: Quick inventory of G3's fall/winter clothes leads me to cross "shopping" off the list. Holy heck, who is buying for this kid?

10:30am: Rush out of the house at Gabe's request to meet him for an errand. Eventually get to the "me" part of my day...getting a haircut, shopping, and pedicure. Except forgot the gift certificate for the pedicure. Decide its okay, as I want to watch the DVR'd episode of "Jersey Shore" and take a much needed nap this afternoon.

2pm: Make pit stop at my friend Josie's. Play with ridiculously cute baby that makes me miss mine a little. Okay, lot. But, no time for that, must go home and nap! Without someone asking me repeated "Mom you gonna wake up?"

5pm: G2 arrives home from work an announces that we are leaving STAT for Knobels Grove Amusement park! Because that's what we do when child-free...go to an amusement park. Despite having been home for 2 hours have not managed to nap or watch "Jersey Shore" due to feeling the need to fold laundry, clean up, and try on clothes so I can have an outfit for dinner tomorrow night...

5:30pm: On way to Knobel's. Feel like ass. Realize have not eaten since Auntie Anne's pretzel at the mall at 11:30am.

6pm: At Knobels! Despite my initial not wanting to go, I am excited! Everyone and their brother is also here tonight, and Gabe looks like a kid in a candy shop as he purchases $20 worth of tickets for us to ride the big rides!! Try to ignore all the G3-sized children squealing with delight around me.

8pm: Leave Knobels. Rode 3 rides: The Phoneix, after which I decided I might as well just start writing checks out to the chiropractor in mass quantities. The Wipeout was next...oh, The Wipeout. What a horrible death ride. Made you go in all directions at once. Gabe made the sign of the cross multiple times and later said "I would have rather died than stayed on that ride any longer." Finally the Galleon...a light, gentle, flying boat ride that makes me feel like I'm going to barf the perogies I just ate in order to quell my hunger-induced nausea...

Gabe...mentally saying a prayer before The Wipeout

9pm: After sitting in traffic in Catawissa, PA for almost 30 minutes, we finally hit the road only to have Gabe pull off the highway and insist I drive because his night vision is poor. We pull into The Lookout House yet again, and I am tired, starving, and a little nervous about having a glass of wine...

10pm: Burgers are the BEST. Home to watch "Jersey Shore"...

11:15pm: Bed. Remind Gabe that I want to sleep in tomorrow and relax, and not rush around. He agrees

Day 3

7:30am RUDELY AWAKENED BY HUSBAND OUT OF DEEP SLEEP. Said husband thinks this is funny and refuses to let me go back to sleep. Stomp angrily downstairs for coffee and laptop time, but am harrassed by text messages ordering me to come back upstairs and hang out.

10am: After much banter, texting, and other nonsense (and, I might add, NO relaxation!) I agree to forgo my pedicure plans yet again in order to head to Lewisburg early. Gabe is on top of the world and I figure I might as well be too, even though, being exhausted, I don't really feel like it!!!

11am: On the road!

12-2pm: We hang out at the Nowicki Mansion with Nancy and I have the chance to decorate her cast with my rainbow of sharpies...I KNEW that minor in Art Studio was going to benefit me someday!

2pm-4pm: Drive into town to hit the new Barnes n Noble...and while it doesn't feel right to skip the train table section, it also doesn't exactly feel wrong. Shirt and book are purchased and we head out to Ray's sister's house for some afternoon mojitos and tomato salad.

7pm: Off to dinner at The Brasserie. Here we have many of my favorite things...dinner out, outdoor dining, good friends, good food, and a strong drink. Unfortunately we are missing a few other things that I generally enjoy, like, enough light to see the food I am eating. Raymie and I furiously fill out the comment cards at the end of our (otherwise wonderful) meal while Gabe and Nancy roll their eyes at us. Many photos are taken.

9-11pm: More cast decorating, with the added inspiration of vodka. Flaming fire soccerball is impressive crowd pleaser.

11:15pm: Go to bed with visions of the best night's sleep ever...after all, I have no reason to wake up in the a.m., I've had just enough vodka for a subtle little buzz, but not enough to be drunk, and Gabe surely, surely won't make the mistake of waking me up again....

2am: Wake up. Gabe missing. Find him downstairs asleep in the living room. Foolishly shake him violently, directly resulting in him flying out of the chair like a ninja and shouting some uncomprehesible noise that is a cross between tiger and caveperson. Shakes it off and comes to bed.

2:10am: Gabe is immediately asleep again. Lucky bastard.

5:30am: After 3 hours of tossing, turning, thinking, over-thinking, trying to get Gabe to stop moving in his sleep, crying a little, sweating, and relocating to another bedroom, I finally, finally start to fall asleep again. But not before realizing that (a) I guess I did need a staycation (b) I totally wasted my staycation by not relaxing at all and (c) I soooo miss my little guy. A big whole bunch. And, (d) 3 nights in a row of crappy sleep is NOT how I wanted to spend my kid-free time!!!

Day 4

8:30am: Wake up. Exhausted but can't sleep. Trudge downstairs, bummed to find that early birds Ray and Nancy aren't up, and I can't work the coffee maker. Efff.

10am: After conversation and coffee, it is decided that a diner breakfast is in order to combat the rainy day/hangover feeling (though, no one is actually hung over.)

11:30am: All agree that diner breakfast is completely satisfactory.

12-1pm: Silver Moon! No trip to Lewisburg would be complete without a trip to the flea market. (Let's pause and take stock of the crazy things we did without child: Knobel's? Check. Didn't sleep in? Check. Farmer's market? Check. We're wild, really.) I should mention that for the first time ever I got to browse the heavily packed antique section, which I usually must forgo due to the giant poster outside stating "NO STROLLERS ALLOWED"

2pm: Leave to go home. I have grand visions of me, the couch, and some television. I didn't think I wanted it, but I do. I sooooo do.

2:30pm: But of course, we have to stop at Lowe's. I would rather cut myself than do this, but I oblige and lo and behold, we randomly walk out with the PERFECT patio furniture at 50% off!! It is a staycation miracle.

430pm-9pm: Truck unpacked, patio furniture assembled, ass parked on couch. "Wedding Crashers" is on and I immediately, finally fall asleep.

And so our staycation comes to end. It was a pretty random 4 days considering the exciting events that contenders for this weekend...such as a trip to Vegas, a trip to NYC for the day, or even going to the beach. I didn't do half of what I wanted to do (pedicure?? NO. Work on scrapbook?? NO. Deep clean house?? Definitely not! Relax?? Not really...)

But I did do a few things I "planned" on, and I didn't miss my little guy quite as much as I imagined that I would. It was nice to hang out with Gabe as "just us" (even though his idea of "hanging out" and mine are vastly different!)

And the best part is that tomorrow morning I get G3 back...I can't wait!!

Dear Gabey...

Dear Gabey:

Today was a very trying day with you. I know I have written about the issues we've had with you and hitting your friends, but it came to head today in a way that was not good. The details aren't really important--he said, she said, where we were, if you were tired, if you were antagonized: none of it matters. Today, for what seems like the bazillionth time, you reacted to frustration by using physical force, and you hurt your friend.

I know you are only 3, and I know you actions aren't fueled with maliciousness or the intent to cause harm. They are powered by something I understand well, a feeling of rage when things bother you that cause you to want to kick the wall, or hit something, or wipe everything off the dining room buffet in one fell swoop (Mom, comments here aren't necessary!!)

It was a trying day because I felt such disapointment in you. I felt disapointed in myself for putting you in the situation. I felt embarrassed and hurt for my friend who's daughter you bludgeoned with a kiddie blender. I felt angry because I know why you hit, and I watched you control your impulses for the entire day and was so proud of that. But before I got a chance to tell you that, I had to throw you in the car and take you home, send you straight to your room and punish you by taking away your monster trucks and television. And, consequently, ban you from your friend for awhile. In some ways I am happy this happened with a good friend that I can talk honestly about and who wants to help me work on this problem...in other ways it sucks royally because I need to be the adult and as much as I want to spend time with my friend and hang out and swim, I need to instead refrain because I am trying to teach you good behavior, and its not going to work if I keep putting you in a situation you aren't equipped to handle at this point in time.

Most of your life, Gabe, you have been thought of and perceived as an "easy" kid. You didn't cry as a baby, you slept well at night from an early age, you were easy to take places, you always got along with other kids, you listen pretty well, and in general are a good kid. Very rarely do I have those legendary stay-at-home-mom days where you want to pull out your hair: you are good company, you entertain yourself well, and are generally easy-going in the grand scheme.

But its the little things with you. Your shoe is wet. You can't get your sleeves pushed up, or you get them pushed up but they aren't even. Your crayon breaks. The TV show you watch every morning is suddenly replaced with a different one. The song on the radio in the car changes (OMG GOD FORBID THIS HAPPENS!) You drop a piece of food on the floor and Mickey eats it. You own 17 plastic dinos but you can only find 16.

Don't get to bed on time? Miss a meal?? Skip a nap?? Can't go swimming 'cause its raining? NO SWEAT. You can roll with these punches, its those little tiny details that make up your day. I used to joke when you were a baby and people commented on how pleasant you were "Yes, but when he's not...watch out!" And so perhaps I've jinxed myself.

I keep asking myself how we ended up in this situation? Did you learn the behavior from someone else? Did I not act soon enough when it came to disciplining you? Am I not strict enough? Too strict?? Are you going to be a social pariah and forever known as "the kid who hits?" Why, when every other kid is learning or knows that "we don't hit" are you struggling?

Even though I know the answer, because I know you. I know that beneath your quiet and usually pleasant demeanor you are extremely intense and sensitive. I know that the same force that will drive you to collapse in a puddle of tears when, after you meticulously line up 35 monster trucks and one falls off the table, is the same force that rears its head when someone grabs a toy from you, or gets in your personal space, or does something silly when you aren't in a silly mood.

I get it buddy. I know what its like. But--you can't hit.

Im lucky to have such good friends who are willing to help me help my son. Im thankful that my husband makes a point to talk to Gabey about hitting--he is never there for the incidents, but has a quiet way of reprimanding later. Im thankful for mom-friends who understand that it doesn't matter what your kid does, when he does it, or how he does it, what kind of job you have, or if you stay at home, or whatever: its hard. You want your kids to be the very best they can be, and it sucks royally when they are not.

So, yeah. Even though hours have passed and you've already gone to bed, I'm still disapointed in your behavior. And I hate feeling like that. I mean, you're 3!!! Aren't I supposed to get a pass on this feeling until at least age 13?????? So I thought maybe if I wrote about it I'd feel a little better.

I love you little buddy, so much. And I know you are sensitive, and intense, and I know your heart is good. And I'm trying to do everything I can to help you learn to communicate your feelings in a socially acceptable way. So cut Mommy a break okay, and stop beating up the neighborhood.

Summer Bucket List, Revisited...

Back in May I had a post about my "summer bucket list" ... things I wanted to definitely do this summer. What with the dog days winding down (yes, I know its only August 6th) and fall looming upon us, I thought it was a good time to check it out and see what I've accomplished and what I still need to squeeze in!





1. Summer party?? You bet. We had one, and it was great. Would love to have another but I sense our next large gathering is going to be the Annual Fall Frolic (how is it time to be mentioning Fall Frolic again...how!!??)





2. Knobel's??? Sadly, haven't managed to do this yet. Fortunately, Knobel's stays open til September, so there's time....





3. Teach G3 to Swim?? Well, sort of. He had swimming lessons, and he's a lot more confident in the water. We HAVE spent more time poolside this summer than ever before, so that's a win-win...





4. Rickett's Glen?? Nope. Boo.





5. Repeat of GNO with Jeanette and Nancy? Yessssss. Great night with two of my favorite girls!

6. Dunwoody?? Of course.





7. Take advantage of the 3-4 days G3 is going to the beach with my parents and go on a trip with G2?? WELL...this is coming up next weekend and we have nothing planned. After much back and forth about what to do we've come up with ... nothing. This may or may not be directly related to my husband's complete inability to make a decision. Stay tuned to see what the "staycation" brings...





8. Philly Zoo?? Nada. Maybe we can squeeze that in...





9. Utilize my deck to sit outside more?? I definitely did this! Gabe and I spent quite a few evenings reading or just chilling outside until it got dark.





10. Photo shoots? Im a bit bummed I haven't had more this summer. I have so much interest and then things fizzle out. I do have quite a bit lined up for September and October though, so no complaints.

G3's Bucket List: Dig in the dirt. A lot...

So, with the crazy part of the summer over and done with, I have a mental list of simpler things I want to do over the next month. Hit the pool as much as possible. Have a few more "lake days" where the swimming lessons were. Sit outside at night as much as I can. Have a few more fires. Eat outside (restaurant-style, or picnic-style. Both work!)

Can't do this in the winter :(

Make a point to play outside every day (what the HECK am I going to do with G3 between November and March...inside all. day. long. ????) Keep the kiddie pool full. Let him make a mess of himself in the garden we're currently trying to thin out. Hunt for frogs. Go for walks when its cooler (sadly this has not happened much this year due to Mickey's newly diagnosed arthritis. Not much fun to go for walks or runs without him.)

Ahh this is the life...

And finally, just appreciate and soak in all the little aspects of summer that make is so wonderful. Going outside in barefeet. Going outside without having to put on layers upon layers. Daylight that lasts into the evening and starts long before you wake up. The smells of fresh cut grass, overripe tomatoes, chlorine, suntan lotion. Icepops as a daily treat. Everything green and full and lush. Weekends that aren't "What are we going to do?" in the sense of trying to find something, anything fun to do; but rather "What are we going to do?" in a way of having too many choices and not enough time for all of them.

Thunderstorms. 90 degree temps. Wearing dresses. Being "tan" (aka not pasty white). Summer parties. Sitting at my parens pond (crap--we need to squeeze a few more pond nights in!!) Because soon it will be fall and while I do grasp all those little delights that make fall its own kind of magic--sweaters, pumpkin patches, soups, chili, Fall Frolic--it comes with a bittersweet taste of the winter coldness that is just around the bend.

But until then. Summer!

Happy 37 Months G3

I contemplated changed the titles of these "letters" to you, Gabey, because I realize the obnoxiousness of celebrating your "37th" month...what am I going to do when you're 6--write about your 58th month? But nothing else is coming to mind and so we shall continue with the trend...happy 37th month!

The first month in your life as a 3 year old...what a whirlwind. Our crazy busy summer weeks slowly dwindled down...swimming lessons came to an end, our far-away friends flew back out west and the birthday season is over (though you keep asking, almost daily, if it's Daddy's birthday. Maybe I should have waited a bit longer to tell you "Daddy's birthday is next!")

This month has been both good and bad. The good: you've finished swimming lessons, and while you certainly don't know how to swim yet, you do have more confidence in the water and you can go underwater, a crowd-pleasing move you are never reluctant to perform. I don't know how but you instinctively learned to hold your breath--whether it was from Daddy dunking you or learning to blow bubbles in swim class I do not know. You did pretty good for a toddler in a daily lesson that was an hour long. You weren't overly fond of being taken out in the deeper water with Miss Melissa, but overall the experience benefitted you. Of course, now we have to watch you like a hawk in the bath and your kiddie pool, since you like to "practice" going underwater, but I digress...

Pretty sure you were screaming "Get me down!" but you did it anyhow!

Now for some bad...your hitting-my-friends problem has returned full-force. I feel like I've talked and written about this subject to death lately, and I don't want to clog up your sweet, nostalgic monthly letter with tales of you bludgeoning your friends but, well: its a problem. We are doing our best to handle it in the best way for you, and I know that you "get it" because when you DO do good at playdate, and I ask if you know why I am proud of you, you respond immediately with "I not hitting today!" So we will perservere with quick, consistent, and a bit more strict discipline, and try to be ample with the praise when you ARE good. Most of your aggression seems to be directed at the friends you are the closest with: in particular Maddie. She has her moments as well--she likes to antagonize you and like any good woman, knows just what buttons to push. I liken your relationship to the closest one to a brother-sister one either of you has as the moment. You talk about Maddie constantly with such adoration, I can only hope that you stop acting like her abusive husband and return to acting like her BFF.

Thankfully you didn't try to drown any of your friends...

Now we'll go back to the good. As always, with each passing month you get a little better at communicating. You no longer ask "Where he is?" when you mean "Where is he?"...strong grammar is a positive asset in my world, so I like this. You have stronger opinions and you aren't afraid to voice them in a defiant voice. The person who coined the phrase "pick your battles" must have had a toddler. "I NOT wear that hat! I wear this one!"--no problem. "I want an ice pop!" (at 8a.m.) um no. Sometimes when we get in the car and you don't know where we're going you'll tell me where you THINK we should be going. Maddie's house, Ben's beach, and Dunwoody are all popular answers right now.

One really, really cute trait you've developed is that of making your own observations about things. This is really, really cute sometimes. For example, the way you tell me you don't want to wear shoes outside is to say "Mom, I not wear my shoes. I want to wear my toes today!" The not-so-cute side of this trait is evident as well. We have had a few pregnant friends give birth recently, and we explained about the baby in the belly, and then it comes out. The other day you grabbed ahold my stomach flab and said "Mom, there's your baby!" Um, thanks buddy. Your father is not immune to this honesty either. The other night at dinner you looked at him contemplatively, and then said "Daddy your nose is big." The look on Gabe's face was priceless. I am just waiting for the humiliating day to come when you tell this to a stranger or ask a fat lady when her baby's coming out!!

At least Mickey doesn't mind when you tell him he stinks...

As we have always done, we end our days with stories, talking, and snuggle time. I have been doing this a lot more than usual this summer, mostly because Daddy has been heading outside after dinner to do yardwork, or we are so busy that I feed you first, and while Daddy is cooking our dinner I do the bedtime routine. As much as I sometimes find reading book after book mindnumbing, I have been enjoying the extra bedtime routines. Its a lot more fun to read to you now, mostly because you like to comment on all the other things on the page. Sometimes I actually read the whole story, and other times you just nararate what you think is going on--either way its adorable.

I've almost always been the one who physically carries you up to bed, and I would ask you what your favorite part about your day was, and we'd talk about all the good things you did, and what tomorrow held in store. Lately, you've become an active participant in this conversation and it is so. damn. cute. It is the highlight of my day. Whether we lay together on the couch, or sit in your chair in your room, or talk through the bars of the crib (yep, still in a crib!) the conversation is precious. It's usually humorous...I mean, a 3 year old putting his hands behind his head, laying back, and saying "Its time to talk about the day. Hmmmm? What did we DO?"???? It doesn't get much more adorable than that! I do have to be careful about discussing any plans for the next day that aren't set in stone, because you inevitably wake up and immediately say "Mom we're going to Maddie's! Let's go NOW" (and will continue to say so every second until we actually do go!)

But this persistant and rigidity in memory has a plus side as well. I can't think of a much sweeter moment than going to get you out of your crib on MY birthday, and having you say "Mom! Its your BIRTHDAY! Your friends coming over? You got cake? What number are you?" - it completely melted my heart. And later? When your father brought home a cake for me (something he's never done and I didn't particularly care about)? Knowing that he bought the cake, and I loved the cake, mainly because of YOUR excitement at blowing out candles and of course, eating the cake?

Well there is just something so super sweet and wonderful about that. And that is the essence of being 3. For all the tantrums, the defiance, the beating of other small children...there is still such a sense of wonder, innocence, amazement and delight in the tiniest of things: cake, birthdays, frogs, mud, ice pops. None of these things are particularly amazing in and of their own right but seeing them through the eyes of someone who hasn't been disapointed by life is a gift in and of itself.

Happy 37 months big guy!